Finding Strength through Fibroids with Simone Shepherd
Writer/Creator, Simone Shepherd speaks on her journey with fibroids and how she’s learned to create a support system through speaking out and opening up about what she has experienced. In this episode, we talk about the importance of researching and advocating for yourself; not settling for the first opinion from a doctor that may not have your best interest. We also talk about finding support from family, friends, social media and your partner; especially with a condition like fibroids that can interfere with your desire for intimacy and closeness.
Transcript from a conversation recorded 6/26/20
please excuse any typos. link to listen to the recording of this transcript here
Simone Shepherd: I didn’t know anything about fibroids. I didn’t know anybody who had them because. Black women. We don’t talk, but because as soon as I started talking about it, I realized that this is something that black women suffer from at, a disproportional rate.
Taylor: Beyond our Cells is a podcast where I Taylor Camille share stories by those living a life fully and beyond any stigma or perceived limitations a health condition may have on their day to day lives.
For season one of this series, we are highlighting women of color and more often black women whose health needs are frequently looked over and stories seldom shared.
Today we’re speaking with Simone shepherd Simone, and I met probably back in 2018. When I was working on a show for finery 29, about women and their homes, and Simone was one of the talent chosen to show people around how she lived. You might recognize her from the vine days, she kind of came up in that crop of comedians and writers and creators that were providing funny commentary on the ways that we live our lives. But I instantly clicked with her. She reminded me of Brandy which she says she gets a lot, but there was an instant connection. I felt like she was my big sister. I feel like there was some reason why our work connected us, but recently I’d been on Instagram and a video Simone posted came up. And she was talking about her fibroids.
And I remember posts that she had made in the past, talking about her scars, her surgeries, and being an open book for people to have these conversations. But it never really hit me as hard as when I saw her face to cam talking about her experience and what life’s like on the other side. So menstrual cycles are already very tough for women, as many of us know, but fibroids is a whole other animal, the things Simone shares and what she experienced. I could not even wrap my head around and I can’t even wrap my head around the fact that so many women experiences and get misdiagnosed.
Don’t know what it is. are told that they have to go through with extreme treatments to get any kind of reprieve from it, which is not always the case. Black people in particular developed fibroids at earlier ages than white people. And the tumors that form from fibroids are often larger and more intrusive, which leads to doctors saying, you need to get these surgically removed. I’m really proud of Simone for using her platform to be transparent with others and sharing her story so that other people who may find themselves in this position, we’ll have a little solace and knowing that they’re not alone and that there are options for them.
Simone Shepherd: My name is Simone Shepherd. I am a writer and I start with writer because that’s the thing that, I’m most proud of personally, I’m a writer. I am a social media, entertainer, digital creator. I’m a director. I am just all around. I like to call myself a creator because just depending on what hat I’m wearing at the time, depends on my job.
I’m a producer, I’m all these things. But like I said, writing is really like what I’m passionate about film and television and, just a bunch of different things. I do all those things and I’m someone who, as a 38 year old African American woman is just now starting to break barriers in my industry because it’s hard for us. Right? So I’m just now starting to like work work.
Which is super exciting, but it also means that I delayed starting a family which was very scary for me because I suffer from uterine fibroids,
Taylor: Yeah when you posted that video, I was like, I have to see if she’ll want to talk with me because I just thought it was so raw and so compelling. And I was like, she’d be perfect to talk to about fibroids so,
Simone Shepherd: Girl, you have inspired me since the day I met you. You’re
Taylor: Aw.
Simone Shepherd: No, totally. And I believe just as black women, we have to stick together.
Taylor: Exactly and me. I know as soon as I met you, I was like, okay, Simone, I need to keep just in, in, around me. Cause the vibes were just too, too good. So how would you describe or define fibroids?
Simone Shepherd: Well, most of them, a lot of the symptoms are the same, but they’re tumors. So they are these tumors that form in different places they can form in clusters. They can form individually. Some people have had fibroids that are as big as watermelons but I had one that was as big as a grapefruit. Like a lot of people had different sizes, of tumors and these tumors are non-cancerous but they are still living off of the blood of your uterus.
Like they’re living off of that. So estrogen makes them just increase. So anything that you’re adding into your body that increases your estrogen levels is going to also increase the size of your fibroids when you do have them.
And like I said, Fibroids are these, non-cancerous tumors that form, but they cause a bunch of different issues, like heavy periods. They cause crazy amounts of pain. blood clots that are ridiculous long, long, long periods, because you’re constantly shedding your uterine lining.
it also can, prevent women from being pregnant or give them complications during their pregnancies.
Taylor: That’s crazy to think of something in your body? That is the size of a watermelon. That’s not small.
Simone Shepherd: That’s not small at all. So a lot of women will have like they’ll talk about how, you know, they’ll look like they’re nine months pregnant, And they’re carrying a tumor, this thing that is literally sucking the life out of them,
Taylor: Yeah. So thinking back, I know it’s been a journey but at the beginning, what were your symptoms? And when did you realize like, something is not right.
Simone Shepherd: Well, I always really suffered what kind of like bad periods, but as a black woman, I didn’t realize that they were bad periods. I just thought that they were normal.
Cause that’s what I was told. I was wearing like a heavy tampon and a heavy pad. I was having like, Blood clots. And, and then it turned into the accidents where it was just like uncontrollable accidents where I would just have changed my pad or tampon. And then I would just like, within a few minutes go through, like, I was spending a ridiculous amount of money on feminine hygiene
Taylor: Did you ever think of doing like, a diva cup or like a menstrual cup at that time?
Simone Shepherd: Well, girl, when you were bleeding, like I was bleeding, ain’t no diva cup in the world. Right? So that’s one. and then two, you know, I’m gonna be honest with you. You are, you’re bleeding all the time and you have blood clots and all these things, you, you start to feel so heavy because you don’t feel clean.
Cause you’re always. So it’s like, you want to throw it away. You want to wash every time that you possibly can. You want to do so it was like a diva cups just seems like more of holding in what, what my body is like releasing it just was a lot.
Taylor: Yeah, you’d be might as well just stand over the toilet.
Simone Shepherd: That’s what it felt like.
Taylor: Oh God, I can’t even imagine
Simone Shepherd: When I grew up in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, they had programs coming around and giving us tampons and pads and they were the worst kind for you. And we were, you know, like free access to all this stuff. And so they’re just pumping these carcinogens into our communities and we just don’t know the difference. So like, if you don’t know better than how do you know better, like me, I grew up in a inner city. I grew up in a food desert I ate. corner store chips all day. No one knew that we didn’t know any better.
Taylor: Right.
Simone Shepherd: Yeah. So I was exacerbating the issue, right? I didn’t know anything about fibroids. I didn’t know anybody who had them because. Black women. We don’t talk, but because as soon as I started talking about it, I realized that this is something that black women suffer from at, a disproportional rate. It’s just crazy. We get fibroids at larger and much younger than any other race.
And because of that, affects our fertility. So, you know, I had bad periods and I had, get misdiagnosed a bunch of times. I said, you know what, I’m not going to see the doctors, you know, black people.
We systemically have, issues with trusting doctors anyway, as soon as I said something to my grandmother, she was like, well, you know, you can’t trust them. You know? I just kind of like forgot about it and not forgot about it. Cause I was always, I was so suffering from the symptoms that I was suffering in silence. And then I got into a serious relationship. We got with the person who I knew that I was going to be with. And I was bleeding 20 days a month.
Taylor: That’s like the whole month.
Simone Shepherd: I know exactly.
Taylor: a week off.
Simone Shepherd: Hello,
Taylor: How did you, Oh, my I’m thinking like, how did you go on vacation? How did you, like, how did you relax?
Simone Shepherd: I didn’t. And now you see why, when I got into a serious relationship, it was like, okay this period is also in a relationship with us
Taylor: How was it dating before meeting him with fibroids or maybe you didn’t even know what you had then, but how was it dating before
Simone Shepherd: Yep. Okay. So. You know, dating before I got into a relationship with Kieran was like, whatever I was bleeding, but who cared? Because y’all don’t need to be all up in my mix anyway. So I was one of those people who, who was like, well, if, if I’m bleeding these many days, then that’s how many days I’m gonna be bleeding.
Cause when you around me, you ain’t getting none. I was so focused on my career and not focused on being in a relationship. I was worried about me and, and worried about, you know, I’m bleeding, so I’m gonna just stay home tonight and I’m not, you know, whatever it is. So getting into a serious relationship. You start, you know, all of that fades to the background where you feel like, Oh no, I want to be intimate. And I want to be intimate on a regular. And I want, to not feel like so heavy and be cramping all the time, because I want to go to the movies and be out and enjoy life with this person.
Go on vacation with this person without this being in the middle, this being at the center of our focus. So that’s, that’s what the difference was. It was a matter of, a matter of quality of life, you know, like I started caring about, all the other parts of life when I met him. And before that it was still like, just focus on me and my career, you know?
Taylor: Yeah. Wow.
Simone Shepherd: And so this is something that I had to discuss with him and explained to him about, you know, what was going on in my life. And he’s like, okay, well, you know, I’m right here with you.
But, you know, I knew he was he’s six years younger than me. I knew that he wanted to have children and I wanted to have children. So I started doing more research, looking for new doctors.
Taylor: Yeah. So how many doctors did it take you until finding the right the right one who diagnosed you?
Simone Shepherd: I on my fifth doctor,
Taylor: Oh my gosh.
Simone Shepherd: When I found yes, over
Taylor: And how many years? Yeah, many
Simone Shepherd: it was over about six years. My mother was in town and I had like the flu or something and I went to the doctors and she was like, also say something about your, your periods.
I was like, yeah, well I’ve already told him, cause this is the same doctors that I’ve already mentioned it to before. And who told me it was normal, but my mother was there. He was being my advocate. I was like, you know, I was in my twenties, but she was like advocating for me, like there. And it made me realize how much we have to, like, I had been advocating for myself and I was tired.
Right. I knew that had my mother there too, who was going to fight for me. More more than I would ever. Like she would fight for herself. She going to fight, fight, and I needed her because that’s what made them give me the referral to the doctor who actually gave me the diagnosis of fibroids.
That’s when I was first told I needed a hysterectomy
Taylor: Oh, my gosh.
Simone Shepherd: Yup.
Taylor: So then did you go and get like another opinion or what did you do once
Simone Shepherd: Yeah, no. So that started me going to find those other doctors, because then I found another doctor who gave me a similar diagnosis and he was trying to get me to just schedule the surgery for like the next day he hadn’t done a lot of them. And this is what I found out later is that a lot of surgeons are trying to get versed in these certain surgeries.
So they’re, they’re trying to do them. And they, you know, they will try to schedule with you to do them and with African American women, we had them so much that it just, no, they can get practice. and I hate to say it like that because I have an amazing doctor right now, but that’s the truth that doctor did not care.
And I was frightened and I’m not gonna lie super frightened, so. Okay. I just was like, Nope, not gonna do it again. Not even going to do it. And then like, I was researching and then I saw Dr. Tristan Bickman had written a book with Kelly Rowland. Not that I cared that she had written a book Kelly Rowland, I think that she’s great. But more importantly, Kelly Rowland, not just because she was a star, she was a black woman.
So it made me. Oh, she cares about black women. So, and then I had a recommendation from another doctor who said, you know, you shouldn’t go see Tristan Bickman you might like her. So when I went to go see her, Oh wait, she really gets it. And she does. She told me immediately, you do not need a hysterectomy and you do not have to rush and have children. And that was the first time anyone had said that to me.
Taylor: That’s wild. Thank God.
Simone Shepherd: She’s dope. She’s really, really dope. and. And she’s just, she’s been just so supportive through the whole thing.
She actually didn’t do my surgery, although she could, she does it a bunch of times, but the, leading specialists in the world he’s recently retired, but they were colleagues and good friends. And she was like, listen, I’m great at this, but he is the best that ever did it.
And so he took off. Yeah, he took on my case because I had a submucosal fibroid, which meant that it was directly on my uterine lining, which was not inside or outside of my uterus. This was, it’s a very dangerous one. It’s the one that, you know, if people ever need a hysterectomy is because of a rupture or some kind of incident occurring in one of these.
I mean, it happens across the board, but specifically this one will prevent you from having children because it releases a hormone. That keeps everything from sticking to your walls because it doesn’t want, he’s trying to release the fibroid as well. So I had a very special, so she like, that’s how great she is. She’s like, listen, I’m great at this, but I know somebody
Taylor: But I’ll step aside. Yeah. That’s amazing. That takes a lot.
Simone Shepherd: Yup.
Taylor: That’s like truly putting the patient first.
Simone Shepherd: Exactly. Exactly. And I think that whenever you’re going through an issue, cause that is ongoing because see the thing people don’t understand, initially with fibroids is that they can come back.
So you’re your doctor and you are constantly monitoring your uterus. You’re constantly. Like almost waiting for them to come back. Cause you know, they come back. Right. So having someone that you can, that, that every time you do a treatment, it’s like, okay, we’re good. Yep. Celebrates with you the victory of knowing that you know, what you’ve been through. So that’s why, that’s why you have to have such a great relationship when you’re suffering with an ongoing issue of any sort.
Taylor: Right.
Simone Shepherd: I don’t advocate for surgery, but sometimes you need surgery and I, so, you know, black women, I want them to make sure that they’re going to get second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth opinions. Get as many of them.
As you need to make yourself feel comfortable before you make a decision like surgery. And in the meantime, I say, cut the coffee, cut. Anything that is affecting your mood or hormones. Like I know it’s hard for women sugars, dairy products, the number one issue, dairy products. and I hate to say it, but meat like, you know, like, you know, to, to restore your body back to health, it’s about restoring a balance in your body. And people don’t realize that a lot of times. So that means like, whether it’s what you’re consuming, the, the products you’re using, feminine health care products, whether it’s your moisturizer or hair products.
Or whatever it may be. That’s all your body. That’s all your body’s absorbing all of that
Taylor: So, I mean, were you finding any communities when you were first charting territory and trying to figure out, like, what does this all really mean? Were you finding other people that were talking about it?
Simone Shepherd: You know, not really, not really, like, as I started slowly finding a few people, especially in the social media community where I go and be like one or two people that I would see talking about it, but they’re at the same pace that I am slowly getting traction for them for, you know, Whatever issue, whether it’s fibroids, whether it is endometriosis and I see a few women who are starting to slowly really talk about these things. The nutritionist that I love and adore. Her name is Raul girl on social media, but she’s really dope because she’s helped cure a lot of women from. fibroids and endometriosis, and she’s done that through, you know, nutrition.
So she’s been doing a podcast I think is really dope, but it’s like, people are just now really getting attention for, for these very things.
It was a matter of talking. I started creating a support system cause I got, online. And was transparent and then even now I have so many women hit me with their stories. It’s literally so overwhelming because like it’s gonna take me years to respond to all the messages and all of the stories because I care about them so much. They’re so personal to me, you know? Every story is so, so personal and it made me kind of change my mission, you know, as funny as I enjoy being am and as much as I enjoy writing and what I have going on right now, I really hit my passion. My heart is wrapped in, in black women’s feminine health care.
Like when I read these stories and I think about what I went through it hits me in a place in my heart. I’m sorry to get emotional, but. If you hear these women who, who, if they could just, if they had been able to afford to just see one more Dr. May have not had a hysterectomy, may have had a family. So I don’t just think about just one woman’s loss. I think about a legacy loss stolen, because they didn’t have the opportunity to seek proper healthcare.
Taylor: basic need.
Simone Shepherd: Yeah, right, right. At this point. And it’s thanks. That’s what we’re trying to say, you know? So. Yeah, I’m just being sincere with you.
Not until I realized that I had an issue and had started talking about it. So like, I would talk about it to people around me, but some people had, had it been a lot of people had really heavy periods. But then I started talking to a lot more people around me, like more than just the two people closest to me.
Cause which was crazy because both of them had them. One does didn’t even realize until I had went through my process and found an educated myself and she was like, hold up. So my heavy periods. Aren’t normal? And that’s the biggest thing. Like the reason why I’m, advocating for black women’s feminine health is because, you know, we’re not told this.
Taylor: Right. And then when you do bring something up, they’re discounting what you’re saying. So it’s just a double edged sword.
Simone Shepherd: So the reason why we have to speak up is because we’ll trust each other though. See, I’ll listen to your experience.
Taylor and, I’ll say, okay, that I can trust that experience because I know you, I feel like I know the soul of who you are, so whatever your experiences I’m like, okay, that’s not, that’s valid. And the more experiences that I hear like yours makes me feel like, okay, Yeah, this is something and I’m not alone.
I am not alone.
Taylor: Yeah. Yeah. It’s true. What made you, I mean, I think you pinpoint it to like May, 2018. What made you post then? Like what, why did you feel like that was the time to share about your scar and your surgery and your fibroids at that moment?
Simone Shepherd: Well, you know, what it was about was, you know, Kieran and I had been living this healthier lifestyle. Another thing that happened to me during surgery, after my February surgery, no pain medications, no opioids were working for me. I was just in pain. So a friend of mine was like, girl, here’s some weed.
You need to start smoking some weed. And I was like, Ooh. And it worked. And I found that it didn’t just work for the pain, but afterwards I kept smoking. It was like helping me with like stress, astounding. I was having panic attacks. And they were prescribing me all these medications. When I started smoking weed, I stopped taking the medications.
I don’t have panic attacks. It’s been about, four and five years since four years. So he created these tee shirts because they had become a lifestyle for us called alkaline and trees. because you know, when you become passionate about something new, you start getting into, you know, you want everybody.
So he created these tee shirts and he had picked up the lifestyle because he had changed because of me. So I was advertising the tee shirts, but in advertising the tee shirts, because I am a very transparent person, I’m honest. it just didn’t feel right. Not telling people what the motivation was behind the church.
The true motivation. So when I, in the picture I had, you can see my scar. I started to edit that out the scar, and I thought I’m not doing that no more. I’m not editing out any parts. I just want to be honest, I just don’t want to have to hide anything about the choices that I had made or the place that I am currently at.
Taylor: right.
Simone Shepherd: I was at with it.
Taylor: Yeah, it takes a lot, honestly it does because you know, people knew you from, you know, funny videos and then you’re just shifting years kind of thing.
Simone Shepherd: Yeah. And you know, that’s the, that’s the beauty of it. Like, you know, I recognized very early that. I wasn’t going to be as popular as I initially was when I made a shift to making my content specifically for people who look like me and I’m talking about black women, I was making content specific to them because that’s how I felt.
I had transitioned into a place in my life where I wanted to see this. I wanted to make the stuff that I wanted to see. And in doing that and becoming transparent, I was like, well, I want to talk about what I’m into right now. I’m into this like feminine health care. Like I’m into trying to figure this out, not just for myself, but for, for all of us as a community.
And, and that’s just where I’m at. You know, and that’s where I wanted to be. So I was like, people are going to come with me or they’re going to drop off and I don’t care, but women have been writing. And it seems like this is the thing that they want to hear about the most.
Taylor: Yeah, right. Yeah. So after you got surgery, you’ve had to make like a lot of lifestyle changes. Is that when you started looking into nutrition and all those other types of things?
Simone Shepherd: Totally. So once I, well it was prior to surgery. I started like doing a lot of research because they don’t know the cause of fibroids, but so many women have had them in and there hasn’t been a lot of like medical research, but then there’s been a lot of like black women sitting around talking in forums, trying to help each other articles written, medical journals, published people, trying to, in some ways, address.
The disparity that, black women have, you know, when it comes to feminine health care issues, period. So after I’m doing my research, I found that there’s something that you there’s certain things in common women who, consume a lot of unhealthy foods or, are more likely to have them or suffer from them, bigger women who.
Choose vegan lifestyles or become vegan. See a decrease in either the symptoms or, the size or like myself after having surgery. You just, they never come back, you know? That’s what made me make the decision to seek a healthier lifestyle? It wasn’t easy. You know, I started out first, with drinking alkaline water.
then I, you know, started cutting me and, I had cut fast food and all that a while ago, but I’m someone again who grew up in the inner city with a food that’s living in a food desert and all these things. So I ate fast food all the time I had French fries and all these things. And I got older and had a lot of versions of food or allergies, where I can eat like white potatoes that I cut French fries on my life, which really helped me.
Cause all of these things again, make inflammation. Anytime you have this inflammation in your body, your body is fighting it like it’s a sickness. So it can’t fight the real sickness.
Taylor: Right. Yeah. I remember that alkaline system you had in your house. So it was like very intense,
Simone Shepherd: Yeah, you serious girl.
Taylor: Make it right here.
Simone Shepherd: Yeah. When you, when you put your it, cause I’m someone, you know, like thank God life is shifting and priorities are shifting, but I own a few designer bags, which I will never buy again. So I’m aware of to whatever, because health is more important. Like, like instead of saving up for some two shoes, girl, go get you an alkaline water machine, so you can live longer and, and, and.
Taylor: Yeah. Yeah. The cost of these treatments, aren’t cheap either. That’s what I’m looking at in research. It’s like the cost of seeing multiple doctors, the cost of, you know, surgeries is not
Simone Shepherd: the product. Yeah. Listen, the products you buy consistently, you know, cause think about it. I’m at a different stage in my life. So seeing these doctors are very, very, very expensive and all that, but there was a time where. I was on, MediCal trying to see doctors and trying to get referrals and trying to do that.
That was a struggle buying pads all the time, all the time. Like those cheap, when you’re suffering, like I was suffering being on your period 22 days a month. And that’s all you just literally going through stuff all the time. It’s so stressful and so expensive.
Taylor: Yeah. . Yeah, has your family been hard on you with trying to, you know, where are the grand babies coming or anything like that or have they given you some grace in that area?
Simone Shepherd: You know, I have a really dope family. I feel really, really blessed because I didn’t even realize how dope they were until like you get, you know, I have I’m in a relationship. I have in-laws now. And then you realize how different people’s upbringings are. Right. So I’m saying is my family has always been so supportive of anything I’m doing in any place that I’m at in my life.
They just don’t even question it. Now, does my mother want grandchildren? Absolutely. Absolutely. But you know, I want children to, when that happens, it’ll happen. but I’m a wonderful stepmother and I love my stepdaughter and my mother and my family embrace her. Like she’s there too. So that’s where I’m at right now. So that’s where they’re at right now.
Taylor: Yeah. How do you feel now on the other side, like, you know, there’s a chance yet could come back, but how does it feel with the knowledge you have now? Like just, I don’t know, experiencing life with fibroids.
Simone Shepherd: A fresh new start. It feels like a fresh listen. I’ve been Fibroids free for some years. Now my doctor tells me when she looks at me, she’s like, listen, your uterus looks like you are a 17 girl. Go ahead. Because I had, I didn’t even realize. How important it is to take care of your uterus, your core, it’s all these things.
So when we’re talking about getting into meditation and the things that I eat, and, and like I said, the products that I use, because now I know I have a uterus and I’m taking care of it. Like, like I want to take, you know, I’m taking care of my hair and taking care of my skin. I’m also taking care of my uterus, like that important.
Taylor: Yeah. I think it’s hard to remember too. It’s like a hidden thing. You got to take care of everything else and everybody else. Yeah,
Simone Shepherd: So that’s why I’m saying that I made it a priority where before, like you said, I didn’t even acknowledge it, but it’s the core of who we are as women. It is literally our center is how we make a child is how we is, what we carry our, our, our pain or trauma, especially black women. We hold so much in our, in our, in our guts period.
So we gotta take care of ourselves.
Taylor: Right. So are you, this is an intimate question, but just out of personal curiosity, are you having, healthier, less heavy periods
Simone Shepherd: Well, my goodness, my periods are, four days, maybe five, but like really just for, and they are so normal. I don’t even use super anything.
Taylor: Wow. That’s amazing. Yeah. What advice would you tell either Simone, back in the day or a woman who is just getting diagnosed with fibroids, what advice would you give them?
Simone Shepherd: Hmm. So I’m not going to give some only advice because she’s living her truth and that moment, but what I will say to women, who are either in the situation or think that they might be in this situation, Do your research get as much information as you possibly can.
Just be knowledgeable, be knowledgeable. I cannot stress that enough because you cannot take the first person’s opinion. and you cannot just go off of one article and off of one friendly conversation, you have to have as much knowledge as you possibly can but I think that you just have to realize feminine health is health. It’s your health. So whether you’re taking vitamins, probiotics, seeing the nutritionist take your feminine health very seriously.
Taylor: Yeah, it’s not something we can ignore. okay. So I ask this at the end of every show, but what brings you peace?
Simone Shepherd: So what brings me peace is my faith. I am someone who. Is a strong believer that all things happen in God’s time. and I’ve always known this, but the older I get, I stepped more into wisdom and I get such a peace in knowing that everything good, bad and in between is all working together for my good, and I’m good with that.
And that just gives me so much joy. That allows me to be honest. It allows me to be, myself in every moment. That’s why I said, I’m not going to just serve Simone in that place and then her truth. Cause that’s where God had her. And, and, and so yeah, just really my faith.
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